Audre Lorde is known for her many identities such as a black, lesbian, warrior and poet. Though these are all crucially important to her identity, another vital aspect of who she is would be her journey with breast cancer. Breast cancer had an extremely big impact on her life and how she viewed it. Though at times she thought she might not get through it she had the support of the important women in her life. With the knowledge of the fragility of her life, it gave Lorde a perspective on how she should be spending their time on earth and who she should be spending it with. Especially after we just finished up pleasure week in class there is this notion of what really bring pleasure to people besides sexual pleasures. For Lorde, one of those things was the company of the women in her life during this difficult with her battle with breast cancer. Lorde states, “Support will always have a special and vividly erotic set of image/meanings for me now, one of which is floating upon a sea within a ring of women like warm bubbles keeping me afloat upon the surface of that sea” (pg. 39). After reading this section of her journal I felt moved. It was moving that such words and imagery made me feel and connect on her level of comfort. Lorde was well known in her past for always speaking in poetic language and this is well seen in her journal entries. Even though I cannot even imagine what it feels like to go through life with breast cancer, I know that in hard times the comfort of loved ones is more healing than most medications.
Lorde also discussed her acceptance of death. The acceptance of death is one that not many people are strong enough to commit to. Lorde says in one part of the journal, “The acceptance of death as a fact, rather than the desire to die, can empower my energies with a forcefulness and vigor not always possible when one eye is out unconsciously for eternity” (pg.26). This is an important idea because she turned the idea of death into something that would empower her and make her stronger rather than tearing her apart. Death is something that can be terrifying for almost anyone but to be able to death with and accept the idea can make people more powerful and enlightened. It can make people realize how to better spend the limited years we have on this planet.
One other important idea that Lorde states in her journal entries is the fact that she did not get a prosthetic breast after her mastectomy. This is crucial because many women get prosthetic breasts order to hide the pain and loss that they have gone through. But Lorde chooses not to get a prosthetic breast because she said that “The emphasis on wearing a prosthesis is a way of avoiding having women come to terms with their own pain and loss, and therapy, with their own strength”(pg. 49). With this it seems that Lorde’s way of coping with the pain is not to cover it up with something fake, but to keep the scars and make her stronger through them. I also never gave much thought into how much breasts mean to the identity of a woman until they are gone. Lorde makes many comments on how she missed the comfort of her breasts and that without them she felt like a part of her was missing. I never gave much thought into how impactful a breast could be in a woman’s life but now I know that they are. They are a part of the identity of women as a whole and without one of them it would feel like a part of our identity as a woman would seem taken away.
Questions:
- Do you agree with Lorde that having a prosthetic breast covers up the pain or do you think that it is a way to make women feel more beautiful (like how after chemotherapy women wear wigs in order to feel more beautiful)?
- I think we can all learn something really important from Lorde’s journal entries about the fragility of life. After reading her journal how did it change your views on how you live your life?
Skip to content
Hi, Alaina, I enjoyed your blog post. It really opened my mind to a different view on cancer from what I already think I know. Your first question intrigued me because cancer is something that has impacted my family. A few years ago my mom’s best friend died from breast cancer. When I was reading this section of the cancer Journals specifically my mom’s friend came to mind. I know personally she had a wig, but she never wore it because she said it was always too hot, even in the winter. I don’t completely agree with Lorde when she says sates a prosthetic breast covers up the pain. Lorde also states, “after a mastectomy, for many women including myself, there is a feeling of wanting to go back, but not wanting to persevere through this experience to whatever enlightenment might be at the core of it”(55). I don’t think the pain is covered up by wearing a prosthesis or wearing a wig. I think it more has to do with self-love and confidence. I saw this through my mom’s friend. She didn’t really care if she went out without a wig or hat on. She had confidence to do what she felt like was good for her, and only her. That is something that I saw as beauty because she did what she felt was right for her, not what others wanted her to do. I also think that either way, the pain will be there, but wearing a prosthesis or a wig is a step to make a woman feel whatever she wants to.
Thank you, Alaina, for your blog post it was interesting. In response to your second question. I think the journal gives you, or at least me, a new perspective on life and death. That seeing “death as a fact” (26) is something that everyone will need to accept at some point in their lives, though it is something hard to perceive if you have never dealt with death or experienced it. This fact is also important for people that are watching this happen to a loved one, and it can be hard on them as well as seeing the states that their loved one can suffer through. I hope that I will never have to experience what Lorde has gone through and that I will be able to support my loved ones through times like these.
Hey Alaina,
Your response was very intuitive. I must confess that reading these journals was somewhat troubling to me because I could not help but wonder what I would do if I faced Lorde’s diagnosis and I’ve come to the conclusion that I probably wouldn’t have survived it. Lorde is most definitely a warrior and has every right to identify as one. The cancer journals have a different tone, more dire and devastating, than the previous works we read. Cancer doesn’t only force you to perceive the finite natures of your life, but it also strips away our body and identity. Being a male, I’m not sure how I feel about the concept of prosthetic breasts. I could sympathize with wanting to return to yourself that which cancer has stripped away and I believe that if I was a female, I would most likely use prosthetic breasts in order to conform to the societal prototype of femininity. However, I do think that this is a way to hide the pain that you face from others. After reading this, I’ve realized that my life and the lives of those I love is extremely finite and it’s made my pursuit of the erotic so much more valuable to me.
Hi Alaina I really liked your blog post! Your reaction to Lorde’s decision after her mastectomy was the exact reaction I had. Developing breasts, aside from the first menstruation, is the first sign of a girl becoming a woman. Breasts are then sexualized so much so, that mothers are shunned against breastfeeding in public. Breasts become the visible sign of femininity and womanhood. Without two breasts, I think that a lot of women would not feel feminine–less of a woman. However, for Lorde what she went through is a sign of strength, of resilience and that is powerful. Lorde states that she “did not have to look down at the bandages on my chest to know that I did not feel the same as before my surgery. But I still felt like myself, like Audre” (57). The prosthesis undermines the violent, horrific battle that is breast cancer. All warriors come out of battle with scars so why should Lorde’s battle with cancer be any different?
Hi Alaina I enjoyed your blog post. Your analysis of how breast cancer has effected Lorde’s life was very well written. My father was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was in middle school and I watched him have to give up some of the things that made him happiest such as playing lacrosse. On page 45 she wrote, “I wanted to write in my journal but couldn’t bring myself to.” I found this quote to be very powerful. After studying Lorde throughout the semester we know how much writing means to her and this shows that this disease took away part of her identity for a moment.
Hey Alaina, great job on the blog post! In response to your first question, I have to admit that I haven’t taken a solid stance yet. I do agree with Lorde’s sentiment of being alien to herself if unable to accept reality when she states “For not even the most skillful prosthesis in the world could undo that reality, or feel the way my breast had felt, and either I would love my body one-breasted now, or remain forever alien to myself” (44). Being that I have been thinking about breast reduction for around a year now, I can understand the sentiment of feeling comfort within one’s breasts in terms of aesthetics and sexuality. Prosthetics could become a coverup for the emotional suppression of pain from the experience of breast cancer, but maybe it could also provide aesthetic comfort. I am also unsure if my attachment to my breasts (which have become the trademark of my body) would ever be the same as the attachment to my hair because when my older cousin got diagnosed with alopecia 3 years ago, I had told her that if she goes bald, I would shave my head with her. I feel as though I have responded to your question and am leaving you with no real answer, just empty engagement, and for that I am sorry but honestly, I don’t have a solid answer for you.
Hey Alaina, your blog post was really thoughtful and you did a great job analyzing such sensitive material. I really liked how you highlighted the importance Lorde found in the women around her as she took this journey. In response to your first question, I think the prosthetics have the ability to inspire mixed reactions among mastectomy patients. Most of us cannot imagine the discomfort and distress of a surgery like this one and so the option of having a prosthetic seems like another hurdle in the healing process. I found it a little humorous how Lorde included her daughter’s reaction to her surgery plans, “she said she was sentimentally attached to my breasts” (29). I think that speaks to the pressure on Lorde to have her breasts, from both a societal pressure and personal one. We can see this pressure again when the nurse tells Frances, “Oh you’re just not persistent enough” (49). So I would think the prosthetic for Audre was just a vain attempt to uphold some societal pressure to have breasts, it upholds more patriarchal values than it does to heal the pain, at least in this instance.
Hi Alaina! I was really eager to read the blog posts for this week because the topic of breast cancer is a very personal one for me. When I was younger my mom passed away from breast cancer so it has always been a topic that’s very intriguing to me. When reading Lorde’s journal, many moments reminded me of the way my mom handled her cancer. She embraced her illness and always tried her best to keep a positive mindset. Similar to Lorde, my mom had times where she allowed the cancer to get her down and make her feel scared, but thankfully, she had my family and I to bring her positivity back up. My mom eventually had to get a mastectomy and, like Lorde, she didn’t get a prosthetic breast. She did not think she needed to cover up her pain with a fake breast because she constantly had her friends and family making her feel beautiful. I think my mom embraced her scars and pains. As someone who has personally never had cancer, I can’t imagine how it must feel to lose a breast which is something that’s known as such a womanly part of the body. I would like to think either choice is good because different things make different women feel independently beautiful. However, I always supported my mom’s choice to keep her scars and loss and not get a fake breast. It shows her strength and hardships. Although she chose to keep her scars from her mastectomy, after her chemotherapy she wore a wig sometimes. My answer to your question would be to do whatever makes you independently feel your best self. All women, scars or not, deserve to feel beautiful in their own way.
Hi Alaina! I really enjoyed your blog post. I think almost everyone has felt the pain that cancer causes. Cancer is an ugly horrible disease that so many people are effected by. After I read your post, I read the comments and almost every post is talking about someone in their life that has been touched by cancer. I also, have been effected by cancer. In high school my dad was diagnosed and soon after so was my grandfather. Lorde has a way of making people come together, strengthening the minorities and encouraging them to join forces to become stronger. I feel that her cancer journals intended to do the same thing. Even in the comments on your post, you can see all of us connecting on how we’ve been effected by cancer.
Alaina- your post was thoughtfully written. I like that you brought up the symbolism of Lorde’s breasts and how she viewed them.
On the first page, Lorde shared her thoughts: “I want to write of the pain I am feeling right now, of the lukewarm tears that will not stop coming into my eyes-for what? For my lost breast? For the lost me?” (24). This was such a powerful way to start the journals. Right off the bat she’s addressing this attachment to a body part which, in some contexts, defines womanhood. I feel like as women, we subconsciously associate much of our female identity with our bodies. They are overly sexualized – especially breasts – and have become a symbol of femininity. Beyond the sexualization, they are still a part of us, of our bodies. Reading Lorde’s journals caused me to reflect on this some more. I have no experience with what she had undergone, but I can say that I completely see her perspective.
I started having seizures a few years ago and it felt like my body had betrayed me. They affected the way I was living my life and I was resentful that my body sabotaged me/us like that. Fast forward to a point where I have healed and I view our bodies as vessels; yet I go back and forth with the concept of connecting with our bodies (because they are what keep us here in this lifetime afterall) and learning to detach from it (because I view us as energy, we’re more than our avatars). My seizures were only a fraction of what Lorde went through. I had to learn how to accept my body and heal it, work with it and be grateful that it continues to push forward and survive despite the hate I felt towards it. But I didn’t have to lose a body part, and my cells didn’t betray me like Lorde’s did. I can’t imagine what she had to experience. The mental and emotional toll that this physical exhaustion must have been unbearable. Reading her journal felt heavy and raw, and the way she stayed authentic through her journey was insightful. I read this in silence and felt the heaviness looming on the pages, but the way she told her story and the use of hot-and-cold references brought a sense of life into this tense topic. She re-defined what it means to be a woman just by telling her story and sharing her inner monologue, and I think that holds more power than having breasts ever could.
Hey Alaina,
I love your blog posts; it was very well written. This journal entry highlights how women who have/has breast cancer experienced, and it showed me a different idea or perspective of what cancer is. I love how you talked about Lorde’s idea of death and her acceptance of it. I feel like I agree with Lorde about having a prosthetic breast covers up the pain, but I think it goes deeper than that. I feel that it’s a way to cope with the situation and pain. Wearing a prosthetic breast help woman recover from the trauma they are facing. The pain that Lorde wrote about must be overwhelming and horrible, and only people who have/has breast can fully relate. I learned that we will experience many different levels of pain, but we must not allow our pain to take over your whole identity.
Hey Alaina,
Thank you for your blog post and contribution to knowledge. Every time without fail, Audre Lorde surprises me with how she creates pain into empowerment. I am shocked by the strength that one person can hold. It is not easy to accept life in the lens that Lorde does, let alone understand her philosophies. In Lorde’s journal entries, she states: “For not even the most skillful prosthesis in the world could undo that reality, or feel the way my breast had felt, and either I would love my body one-breasted now, or remain forever alien to myself” (44). Speaking on a personal level regarding the journey of cancer, I have lost family members to various kinds of cancer and even my dog to breast cancer. The topic of prosthetic breasts can be very controversial, yet I do believe that no matter what, the story of going through cancer is more than enough “proof” needed to show strength. I agree that Lorde is trying to say that women who have gone through this procedure should not let society make them feel less beautiful because of their flat chests or loss of hair. Coming from a family where breast argumentation is common and where looking beautiful is a priority, I’m always pushed to know that it would be acceptable for me to get breast implants since my chest doesn’t resemble the ideal image of a woman. The image sold to us as women of having breasts equating to more womanhood and motherhood has been so deeply ingrained in my head since from what I can remember. It is devastating to know that I, and many other young women, shared the mindset of “the flatter the chest, the less of a woman.” Lorde is writing to express that going through the experience of cancer, having removed breasts, strengthens her to value herself more through the eroticism of life pleasure. While still valuing her physical beauty regardless of the obvious fact of physically missing a body part.
Hi Alana! I was so engaged in your blog post from the opening sentence to the very last line. Your interpretation of Lorde’s acceptance of death eloquently concurred with her feelings about prosthetic breasts. As you stated in your blog post, Lorde believed that wearing a prosthetic breast was an act of covering one’s pain rather than coping with it. I absolutely agree with Lorde’s perspective of prosthetics. Lorde was being coerced into wearing a prosthetic breast as a means of restoring society’s standard of femininity. One has to ask: In our patriarchal society, what is a woman without her beauty or her breast? As a breast cancer survivor, Lorde came face-to-face with her impending death. That made Lorde both a woman and a warrior.