Author: Alaina L

Audre Lorde was a woman of strength. She changed the views on what a black, lesbian, warrior poet could be. One crucial point in Lorde’s life was her diagnosis with breast cancer. When she was diagnosed, she went through a difficult time where she questioned many things about her life and how she lived it. Lorde’s The Cancer Journals describe her journey with pain and suffering. With this journey she lost a breast which, to Lorde, was like losing a part of her soul. Though she lost her breast she gained strength through the women in her life. Though the mastectomy and chemotherapy helped her survive physically, the women in her life gave her the strength to survive spiritually and mentally.

      In our society a breast is seen as a characterizing trait of a woman. For Lorde, one of the hardest parts of her diagnosis was the idea that she would no longer have her breast. She recounts her sadness towards the absence of her breast. She says, “And for the first time deeply and fleetingly a groundswell of sadness rolled up over me and that filled my mouth and eyes almost to drowning. My right breast represented such an area of feeling and pleasure for me, how could I bear never to feel that again?” (43). A breast is one of the things on a woman’s body that makes her uniquely beautiful and when it is gone there is a lack of identity. This shows the importance of what makes a woman who they are. This idea of the breast can connect back to pleasure week. In pleasure week we talked about the importance of the erotic. The idea that the erotic is not just something sexual but something that gives us true feelings of happiness. So, with a breast she feels the comfort of her womanhood and feels connected to herself. She finds pleasure in being able to touch her breast and when it is not there it seems to weaken her. So, for Lorde to come out of this makes her a warrior. It makes her a warrior to be able to live a life after the death of her breast. 

         When Lorde’s mastectomy was over she was recommended by doctors and nurses to get a prosthetic breast. This, to them, is the normal way to deal with the loss of a breast. At this time it was common and even expected of women to get a prosthetic breast. To Lorde, this seemed to reinforce the patriarchal society that objectifies breasts. Lorde says in her journals, “For not even the most skillful prosthesis in the world could undo that reality, or feel the way my breast had felt, and whether I would love my body one-breasted now, or remain forever alien to myself” (44). This beautiful quote conveys Lorde’s belief that having one breast that was real and a part of her body was better than trying to cover up the lost breast with a fake one. Lorde almost seems to talk about her lost breast as a person. She grieves for the lost breast and does not replace it with another because for her, it had a special place in her heart that could not be replaced. She needed that empty place on her chest to remain empty in order to remind herself of the breast she lost. She believed that a prosthetic would be a way of covering up the pain of the loss. With denying the pain of an amputation there would be no strength to build off of. Lorde used this amputation as a way to make her a stronger woman.

Lorde’s journals illustrate how significant women were in healing her mental state after the operation. She decided that she wanted to live her life with the people who were most important to her. In Lorde’s journal she describes how women supported her mental recovery:

But support will always have a special and vividly erotic set of image/meanings for me now, one of which is floating upon a sea within a ring of women like warm bubbles keeping me afloat upon the surface of that sea. I can feel the texture of inviting water just beneath their eyes, and do not fear it. It is the sweet smell of their breath and laughter and voices calling my name that gives me volition, helps me remember I want to turn away from looking down. These images flow quickly, the tangible floods of energy rolling off these women toward me that I converted into power to heal myself (39).

These women kept Lorde afloat and prevented her from drowning in her own sorrows. This signifies that women have the power to lift each other up during their lowest moments. With the image of her being kept afloat by all of the women showed that they kept her from drowning in her own sorrows. This made Lorde a stronger person because it gave her a sense of the power of other women and the impact they have on each other’s lives. 

         Lorde’s The Cancer Journals reflect upon her hard times with breast cancer and the moments where she felt she could not control her body. Lorde states “The acceptance of death as a fact rather than a desire to die, can empower my energies with a forcefulness and vigor not always possible when one eye is out unconsciously for eternity” (26). In this quote it shows the toll that breast cancer had on Lorde mentally. She describes the situation that she is in as one that is not of free will. She does not have the choice on how her body will react to the cancer. This would be mentally draining for anyone. Yet, she survived all of this and became a stronger woman. In Lorde’s “A Litany for Survival” she states “We were never meant to survive.” But, through her journey with breast cancer it transformed those words. Maybe we were never meant to survive alone. Perhaps we were meant to survive if we had the support of other women in our lives to carry us through tough times and keep us afloat.

Works Cited

Lorde, Audre. “A Litany for Survival by Audre Lorde.” Poetry Foundation, Poetry Foundation, 

www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/147275/a-litany-for-survival.
Lorde, Audre. The Cancer Journals. 2nd ed., Aunt Lute Books, 1980.

Audre Lorde is known for her many identities such as a black, lesbian, warrior and poet. Though these are all crucially important to her identity, another vital aspect of who she is would be her journey with breast cancer. Breast cancer had an extremely big impact on her life and how she viewed it. Though at times she thought she might not get through it she had the support of the important women in her life. With the knowledge of the fragility of her life, it gave Lorde a perspective on how she should be spending their time on earth and who she should be spending it with. Especially after we just finished up pleasure week in class there is this notion of what really bring pleasure to people besides sexual pleasures. For Lorde, one of those things was the company of the women in her life during this difficult with her battle with breast cancer. Lorde states, “Support will always have a special and vividly erotic set of image/meanings for me now, one of which is floating upon a sea within a ring of women like warm bubbles keeping me afloat upon the surface of that sea” (pg. 39). After reading this section of her journal I felt moved. It was moving that such words and imagery made me feel and connect on her level of comfort. Lorde was well known in her past for always speaking in poetic language and this is well seen in her journal entries. Even though I cannot even imagine what it feels like to go through life with breast cancer, I know that in hard times the comfort of loved ones is more healing than most medications.

            Lorde also discussed her acceptance of death. The acceptance of death is one that not many people are strong enough to commit to. Lorde says in one part of the journal, “The acceptance of death as a fact, rather than the desire to die, can empower my energies with a forcefulness and vigor not always possible when one eye is out unconsciously for eternity” (pg.26). This is an important idea because she turned the idea of death into something that would empower her and make her stronger rather than tearing her apart. Death is something that can be terrifying for almost anyone but to be able to death with and accept the idea can make people more powerful and enlightened. It can make people realize how to better spend the limited years we have on this planet.

            One other important idea that Lorde states in her journal entries is the fact that she did not get a prosthetic breast after her mastectomy. This is crucial because many women get prosthetic breasts order to hide the pain and loss that they have gone through. But Lorde chooses not to get a prosthetic breast because she said that “The emphasis on wearing a prosthesis is a way of avoiding having women come to terms with their own pain and loss, and therapy, with their own strength”(pg. 49). With this it seems that Lorde’s way of coping with the pain is not to cover it up with something fake, but to keep the scars and make her stronger through them. I also never gave much thought into how much breasts mean to the identity of a woman until they are gone. Lorde makes many comments on how she missed the comfort of her breasts and that without them she felt like a part of her was missing. I never gave much thought into how impactful a breast could be in a woman’s life but now I know that they are. They are a part of the identity of women as a whole and without one of them it would feel like a part of our identity as a woman would seem taken away.

Questions:

1. Do you agree with Lorde that having a prosthetic breast covers up the pain or do you think that it is a way to make women feel more beautiful (like how after chemotherapy women wear wigs in order to feel more beautiful)?
2. I think we can all learn something really important from Lorde’s journal entries about the fragility of life. After reading her journal how did it change your views on how you live your life?

I am an English major with a french minor. I’m an aspiring journalist who loves animals (my favorites being dogs and elephants) and traveling. I would one day love to travel the world and write articles on the culture of the places that I travel to and what I experience in those places. I love spending time with my family and pets (but I really consider them a part of my family). When I am not with my family I am either reading, working out, singing, or writing. I am really excited for this class and can’t wait to learn more about Audre Lorde and the impact she had on the literary world.